» » Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough ePub download

by Lori Gottlieb

  • Author: Lori Gottlieb
  • ISBN: 0525951512
  • ISBN13: 978-0525951513
  • ePub: 1413 kb | FB2: 1324 kb
  • Language: English
  • Category: Relationships
  • Publisher: Dutton; First Edition edition (February 4, 2010)
  • Pages: 336
  • Rating: 4.5/5
  • Votes: 335
  • Format: mbr doc azw lrf
Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough ePub download

Marry Him shows women how to find true happiness when seeking love-by giving them a new way to look at the world. Gottlieb manages to be hilarious yet thought-provoking, light-hearted yet profound on the questions of: Why do we fall in love? What qualities really matter in a marriage?

Marry Him shows women how to find true happiness when seeking love-by giving them a new way to look at the world. Gottlieb manages to be hilarious yet thought-provoking, light-hearted yet profound on the questions of: Why do we fall in love? What qualities really matter in a marriage? For what reasons do we make the decisions that affect our whole lives? Marry Him will set people talking for years. Gretchen Rubin, New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project. anything but antiromance.

Marry Him shows you how to change these patterns Marry Him is a frank and funny read, weaving real people’s stories with Gottlieb’s own experiences, and containing sharp examinations of how society and culture come into.

Marry Him shows you how to change these patterns. Lori Gottlieb noticed that modern relationships seemed to be getting ever more complicated and statistics backed that up: more people who wanted a happy marriage were having trouble finding-and sustaining-one. Marry Him is a frank and funny read, weaving real people’s stories with Gottlieb’s own experiences, and containing sharp examinations of how society and culture come into play when modern women look for love. The New York Observer. In business, ‘good enough’ is often ‘very good. So why should we expect-and demand-perfection in dating and marriage? Forbes.

Despite its provocative title, Marry Him is not about settling but about setting realistic, achievable goals.

Marry Him!: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb. Despite its provocative title, Marry Him is not about settling but about setting realistic, achievable goals.

Lori Gottlieb offers herself up as Exhibit A - that’s A for Alone - in this unsparing exploration of the contemporary mating . Like many of us, Gottlieb went shopping with a mental checklist of attributes for her fantasy husband.

Lori Gottlieb offers herself up as Exhibit A - that’s A for Alone - in this unsparing exploration of the contemporary mating scene. Believing that the One was at large, she squandered opportunities with seemingly flawed, flesh-and-blood men.

The Case For Settling For Mr Good Enough, in which she wrote, "Every woman I know – no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure – feels panic, occasionally coupled with desperation, if she hits 30 and finds herself unmarried

The Case For Settling For Mr Good Enough, in which she wrote, "Every woman I know – no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure – feels panic, occasionally coupled with desperation, if she hits 30 and finds herself unmarried. That may have been a fate worse than death in 1950, but to put forward the same argument in 2007 seemed bizarre. Yet Gottlieb did her best to help her fellow singletons out of this hole. My advice is this: settle! That's right. Don't worry about passion or intense connection

Other readers will always be interested in your opinion of the books you've read. Whether you've loved the book or not, if you give your honest and detailed thoughts then people will find new books that are right for them

Other readers will always be interested in your opinion of the books you've read. Whether you've loved the book or not, if you give your honest and detailed thoughts then people will find new books that are right for them. 1. Meet and Grow Rich.

But marrying Mr. Good Enough might be an equally viable option . She broke off the relationship several times because, she told him with regret, she didn’t think she wanted to spend her life with him. Good Enough might be an equally viable option, especially if you’re looking for a stable, reliable life companion. Madame Bovary might not see it that way, but if she’d remained single, I’ll bet she would have been even more depressed than she was while living with her tedious but caring husband. Interview: "The Case for Mr. Not-Quite Right" Lori Gottlieb talks about soul mates, all-consuming love, and why it makes sense to compromise those ideals.

In Marry Him, Gottlieb explores an all-too-common dilemma-how to reconcile the desire for a happy marriage with a list of must-haves and deal-breakers so long and complicated that many great guys get misguidedly eliminated

In Marry Him, Gottlieb explores an all-too-common dilemma-how to reconcile the desire for a happy marriage with a list of must-haves and deal-breakers so long and complicated that many great guys get misguidedly eliminated.

Declaring that Marry Him is misogynist, misguided, stupid, wrong, or pathetic without reading it is the equivalent of thinking that Obamacare includes death panels. You’d never know this if you were to Google Lori Gottlieb. In fact, from the press you may have read, you would have no idea what Marry Him is actually about.

Lori Gottlieb discusses Marry Him in a video on The Atlantic website.

You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right? But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it? Suddenly finding herself forty and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough. Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point," to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned forty, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"? That's where Marry Him comes in. By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry Him Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face--how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy--as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their twenties to their sixties. Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.
santa
I applaud Gottlieb for exploring the topic of "settling," even though, in the end, it will always mean different things to different people and thus can never be clearly defined. It's a long overdue discussion, but I disagree with her conclusions.

Our grandmothers HAD to get married, our mothers did not have to STAY married, and my generation (X) was given the message that we shouldn't get married until the time was right and we had found true love. Gottlieb is correct in writing that we all got the idea that Mr. Right would come along eventually, that we could turn down suitors and take our time getting married in order to find the right guy with whom to establish a family. Like Gottlieb and numerous other women, I had a hard time after my early thirties when it started becoming clear that this wasn't going to happen for me. Now couple that realization with an economy that has grown tougher and tougher and has made life pretty grueling for single-income people (so far in my reading of the book Gottlieb has ignored the economy's impact on relationships-- big omission) and also with the fact that, to a large percentage of the population, a woman who is still single at 40 is a pathetic spinster. Not fun.

Gottlieb is further correct about the sexist ageism in the dating market. I have always preferred to date men my own age, and in my thirties I realized that men were starting to want to date younger women. She interviews men who propagate the die-hard myth that women have it completely easy in their teens and twenties, with hordes of suitors at their door, so the fact that they start getting overlooked and rejected after 30 is some sort of comeuppance. Yes, there were certainly more single people around when I was younger, but dating was always difficult. Yes, I did reject a lot of men, but I was rejected by men just as often. I think the men who love to spew that myth only pursued the head cheerleader and waited and waited and waited until, voila!, they made enough money at the age of 39 so that they could finally get someone in that league. There are many, many men out there who are ridiculously picky-- another fact overlooked by the author.

Based on all these facts, Gottlieb has come to the conclusion that women need to lower their standards. I come to a different conclusion, especially after witnessing numerous divorces in my peer group and the faint boredom and even downright discontent amongst my friends who have "settled" (in my view, Gottlieb paints WAY too rosy a picture of marriage). I do think we need to move beyond "wait for the right guy and eventually he will come along." Now I think we need, "You can have a full and exciting and worthwhile life as a single person." Unlike Gottlieb, I do think finding the right person IS to a large degree a matter of luck, so if it doesn't happen, we need to embrace identities as single women. The world really doesn't need any more kids. We also need to fight for single-payer health insurance and other economic issues that can make life easier for people who do not get married.
Ishnjurus
Aside from being such an entertaining read, this book just killed any lingering doubts I had about marrying my fiance. I'm 30, and I'm engaged to a wonderful 38-year-old accountant who happens to be quite boring. He also comes with a bit of baggage -- a 4-year-old son from a previous relationship (not marriage). However he and his ex have joint custody, so we do get decent couple time and he doesn't pay child support, plus I have a great relationship with his son.

Anyway, this book made me realize how close I was to making a huge mistake. My guy meets all of my needs (we share similar values, he's financially responsible, he's a good father, and he doesn't have a problem with me engaging in activities I enjoy even if he's not necessarily interested in doing them with me) and many of my wants (he's tall and athletic, we have amazing physical chemistry, he's affectionate, he never stonewalls during an argument, he's a good cook, and he's way better than me when it comes to cleaning the house !)

But for the longest time I doubted whether it would work out because I didn't feel like he's intellectually curious enough. I'm a writer, and I read everything I can get my hands on just for the sake of learning new things. My fiance is rarely interested in learning about anything that doesn't have a practical application. He's also a homebody, while I prefer to be out there doing things. He's just a quiet guy with simple needs. But whenever we're together, I always feel a sense of calm, peace, and comfort, even if it's just sitting side-by-side on on the couch while he's watching a basketball game and I'm reading a book.

But after reading this book, I felt so much better about my choice to "settle" (this statement might sound ridiculous now that I've listed my fiance's good qualities, but you'd be amazed at how many women think they deserve nothing less than perfect). So if you're a woman who wants to get married (this book isn't for women who don't want to get married), read this book. The title's very provocative, but "settling" the way the author defines it doesn't so much refer to marrying anyone just to beat your biological clock. It's about getting rid of that sense of entitlement so you can focus on what matters in a marriage partner before you run out of options that actually meet any semblance of reasonable criteria.
E-Books Related to Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough: